Having a random hookup so left but love u
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
