apparently the secret to your success is patron
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
