she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
