i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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