Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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