me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
