i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
sarcasm needs its own font
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
