if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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