I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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