I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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