Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
