You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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