I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
