My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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