I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I need a hoe opinion
go on
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
