Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
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