I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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