seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
