She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
