I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
