I want to have your abortion
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
