I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
