yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
