i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
