I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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