I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
