You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I'm just crazy horny about you
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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