I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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