You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
