I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
