My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
