So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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