some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
