go do what you do best...puke behind churches
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
