I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
