I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
