I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
