Sry I called you an 8
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
there's paper in my vomit.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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