Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize