is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
