i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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