You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
