I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
