Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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