Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
