Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
