I bet he comes in French.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
