Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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