so explain again why im purple
no
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Randomize
