just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
wow bdsm is so cute
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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