I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
