Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
OPIZZABONMYDICK
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
