Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
