farters have to be the big spoon...
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
